November 2, 2009
October 20, 2009
our unschooling ABCs
A – autonomy - the freedom to choose when, where, how and what we learn and to direct the rest of our life with the same freedom (when to take trips, when to wake up each day, what to wear, when to eat, what to spend our time on, who to spend time with, etc…).
B – being together – we have so much time to get to know and enjoy each other!
C – creative & critical thinking – we don’t spend precious time memorizing “right” answers in order to score well on tests, our learning has a more lasting purpose. We have the freedom to question everything, and explore to the extent that our curiosity is satisfied before moving on to something else.
D – daydreaming – we have plenty of opportunity to take the time needed to quietly process what we learn, whenever we need to.
E – equality – we live and learn together in an environment that is free of hierarchy, and operates on a basis of consensuality and equality. We make sure that the learning and living strategies we choose work for and support everyone.
F – family – probably one of the single most significant reasons behind our choice to learn at home. The time we spend together, the quality of our relationships, and creating a life-long family bond are needs we have that are nurtured through this way of life.
G – growing together – because I’m growing as much as my children are on this journey. We’re doing it together.
H – holding on to childhood – my children get to grow up and fully experience each emotional and intellectual stage slowly, without being hurried along at someone else’s pace. They can savor being kids, pressure free!
I – individuality – need I say more? There is simply no one else to measure up to or try to be like. We honor our individuality and enjoy our freedom to express it without fear.
J – joy – natural learning leads to feelings of joy for life!
K – knowledge – I really appreciate the rich abundance of opportunities and resources we have around us to help us build knowledge about the things that interest us.
L – learning together – because we all have something to learn from each other and something to contribute to each other’s growth. This is a shared journey.
M - meaning – being able to experience a sense of meaningfulness and purpose to what we are learning is so important. Whatever we are learning about needs to be applicable to our lives and our world. The most likely way we can achieve this is when we have choice and freedom (see A) around our learning.
N – natural – learning is meant to be a natural, fluid life-long process, not linear, not imposed, not forced, and not meant to be a means to rewards or done out of fear of failure.
O – opportunities – unschooling means we view life as an endless abundance of opportunities to learn and grow, and that we value having the time and freedom to explore them.
P – passion – being able to follow our passions is what helps and inspires us to learn who we are, what we enjoy, and what we value.
Q – questions – how, who, why, what, where, when, how long, what if, why not, these questions plus a million more are welcome and celebrated at all times of the day, all through the year. There are no specified hours in our day, days in the week, or months of the year that are set aside for learning and asking questions. Learning happens for all of us, all the time.
R – real world – from the moment life begins, our children spend their lives living, learning and exploring the real world, not “preparing” to live in it some day.
S – self-empowered – when children are trusted to direct their own learning, they develop a sense of ownership over their own learning journey. My 6-year-old already displays a sense of confidence and independence that comes from being knowing that he is free to approach different skills and concepts when he is ready, and will not be pressured to do so before then.
T – trust – unschooling is synonymous with trust. Trusting life, trusting the learning process, trusting that we have everything we need, to learn what we need to, to live fulfilling and meaningful lives.
U – universal – learning is a universal human need! We all begin at birth and never stop needing and yearning to learn. We are born with a natural curiosity. I believe that all children instinctively want to learn about the real world around them; and that the best way to do that is lots of time spent interacting with it.
V – values – independence, autonomy, support, openness, flexibility, spontaneity, choice, realness, equality, enjoyment, fun, respect, play, community, meaning, purpose, personal expression and physical and emotional nurturing are a few of many values we have that are met through the decision to unschool.
W – win-win – our choice of lifestyle supports our need for creating win-win situations no matter what we’re working through, because we believe that everyone’s needs can be met. Learning is not a competition, for us there are no “failures” or “losers”, everyone wins!
X – oh heavens I am open to contributions on this one!
Y – yes! – saying yes! as often as possible helps my children to see life as a series of possibilities and open doors, instead of a series of rules and forbidden zones and thou-shalt-nots. Yes we can go there, yes you can experiment with that, yes we will find a way to do that together, yes I will support your interests, yes I would love to help you.
Z – zest for life – I don’t think I need to elaborate on this one!
B – being together – we have so much time to get to know and enjoy each other!
C – creative & critical thinking – we don’t spend precious time memorizing “right” answers in order to score well on tests, our learning has a more lasting purpose. We have the freedom to question everything, and explore to the extent that our curiosity is satisfied before moving on to something else.
D – daydreaming – we have plenty of opportunity to take the time needed to quietly process what we learn, whenever we need to.
E – equality – we live and learn together in an environment that is free of hierarchy, and operates on a basis of consensuality and equality. We make sure that the learning and living strategies we choose work for and support everyone.
F – family – probably one of the single most significant reasons behind our choice to learn at home. The time we spend together, the quality of our relationships, and creating a life-long family bond are needs we have that are nurtured through this way of life.
G – growing together – because I’m growing as much as my children are on this journey. We’re doing it together.
H – holding on to childhood – my children get to grow up and fully experience each emotional and intellectual stage slowly, without being hurried along at someone else’s pace. They can savor being kids, pressure free!
I – individuality – need I say more? There is simply no one else to measure up to or try to be like. We honor our individuality and enjoy our freedom to express it without fear.
J – joy – natural learning leads to feelings of joy for life!
K – knowledge – I really appreciate the rich abundance of opportunities and resources we have around us to help us build knowledge about the things that interest us.
L – learning together – because we all have something to learn from each other and something to contribute to each other’s growth. This is a shared journey.
M - meaning – being able to experience a sense of meaningfulness and purpose to what we are learning is so important. Whatever we are learning about needs to be applicable to our lives and our world. The most likely way we can achieve this is when we have choice and freedom (see A) around our learning.
N – natural – learning is meant to be a natural, fluid life-long process, not linear, not imposed, not forced, and not meant to be a means to rewards or done out of fear of failure.
O – opportunities – unschooling means we view life as an endless abundance of opportunities to learn and grow, and that we value having the time and freedom to explore them.
P – passion – being able to follow our passions is what helps and inspires us to learn who we are, what we enjoy, and what we value.
Q – questions – how, who, why, what, where, when, how long, what if, why not, these questions plus a million more are welcome and celebrated at all times of the day, all through the year. There are no specified hours in our day, days in the week, or months of the year that are set aside for learning and asking questions. Learning happens for all of us, all the time.
R – real world – from the moment life begins, our children spend their lives living, learning and exploring the real world, not “preparing” to live in it some day.
S – self-empowered – when children are trusted to direct their own learning, they develop a sense of ownership over their own learning journey. My 6-year-old already displays a sense of confidence and independence that comes from being knowing that he is free to approach different skills and concepts when he is ready, and will not be pressured to do so before then.
T – trust – unschooling is synonymous with trust. Trusting life, trusting the learning process, trusting that we have everything we need, to learn what we need to, to live fulfilling and meaningful lives.
U – universal – learning is a universal human need! We all begin at birth and never stop needing and yearning to learn. We are born with a natural curiosity. I believe that all children instinctively want to learn about the real world around them; and that the best way to do that is lots of time spent interacting with it.
V – values – independence, autonomy, support, openness, flexibility, spontaneity, choice, realness, equality, enjoyment, fun, respect, play, community, meaning, purpose, personal expression and physical and emotional nurturing are a few of many values we have that are met through the decision to unschool.
W – win-win – our choice of lifestyle supports our need for creating win-win situations no matter what we’re working through, because we believe that everyone’s needs can be met. Learning is not a competition, for us there are no “failures” or “losers”, everyone wins!
X – oh heavens I am open to contributions on this one!
Y – yes! – saying yes! as often as possible helps my children to see life as a series of possibilities and open doors, instead of a series of rules and forbidden zones and thou-shalt-nots. Yes we can go there, yes you can experiment with that, yes we will find a way to do that together, yes I will support your interests, yes I would love to help you.
Z – zest for life – I don’t think I need to elaborate on this one!
October 18, 2009
confusing evaluations of others actions with feelings
It is common practice in our society to confuse evaluations or interpretations we make about other people's behaviors, with our own feelings.
For example:
Observation without evaluation: "He told me he would be here at 6 pm. Now it's 8 pm and he is not here".
Evaluation: He always does this. I can't remember a time when he arrived when he said he would. I feel so neglected and abandoned.
In this example, the words neglected and abandoned describe an interpretation of the man's actions. Essentially, the speaker is saying "he abandoned me" or "he's neglecting me". Nobody really knows if this is true, it is simply a "blind" evaluation. The only fact we really know at this point is that the man is not there two hours after he said he would be.
A possible translation of those evaluations would be to replace them with actual feeling words and needs.
In this example, the speaker might be feeling anxious, confused, upset, disappointed, frustrated, or lonely. They might be needing support, trust, timeliness, companionship, reliability, predictability, communication and consideration.
When we take the time to tune-in to our feelings and needs and express them to others instead of offering our evaluations, we stand a better chance at enticing compassion from others, a better chance at connection with others; and ultimately, a better chance at getting our needs met by others in future.
For further elaboration, see NVCWiki for a list of evaluative words commonly used in place of feelings. This practice of evaluating others is so common around us in daily life that it sure doesn't take long to think of more to add to the list.
For example:
Observation without evaluation: "He told me he would be here at 6 pm. Now it's 8 pm and he is not here".
Evaluation: He always does this. I can't remember a time when he arrived when he said he would. I feel so neglected and abandoned.
In this example, the words neglected and abandoned describe an interpretation of the man's actions. Essentially, the speaker is saying "he abandoned me" or "he's neglecting me". Nobody really knows if this is true, it is simply a "blind" evaluation. The only fact we really know at this point is that the man is not there two hours after he said he would be.
A possible translation of those evaluations would be to replace them with actual feeling words and needs.
In this example, the speaker might be feeling anxious, confused, upset, disappointed, frustrated, or lonely. They might be needing support, trust, timeliness, companionship, reliability, predictability, communication and consideration.
When we take the time to tune-in to our feelings and needs and express them to others instead of offering our evaluations, we stand a better chance at enticing compassion from others, a better chance at connection with others; and ultimately, a better chance at getting our needs met by others in future.
For further elaboration, see NVCWiki for a list of evaluative words commonly used in place of feelings. This practice of evaluating others is so common around us in daily life that it sure doesn't take long to think of more to add to the list.
October 16, 2009
hidden blessings
Our van was stolen from our driveway while we were sleeping last week. It has, of course, spurred on a process for all of us. For Kale, we talked about feelings around this. He didn't express much on his own about it when we discovered it in the morning. That evening, I asked him what feelings came up for him when I told him the van was stolen. He said without hesitation that he felt surprised, then angry because he didn't want it to be gone. I asked him if he felt scared at all and he said nope. I was surprised about that, but didn't let on. I don't want to "plant" feelings into him that aren't there. He wanted to know why someone would do this, so we talked about our community, needs, poverty, the idea of scarcity. We talked about vandalism, and we shared guesses as to why people commit vandalism and theft. He figured someone just needed to get somewhere and didn't have a car.
We are currently enjoying a very nice, new minivan rental. It took the theft of our vehicle and this opportunity to try something different to make me realize how much I put up with with our old van. The door handles frequently broke off. The sliding door didn't slide so well. The bench seat in the middle made it really difficult for the kids to pile in. The wipers worked only occasionally. It rattled, jostled and squeaked like crazy. Plus all the regular things that come with older vehicles, manual windows, door locks, seat adjusting, and cup holders that are designed not to hold anything well except pocket change.
The theft has been full of blessings it seems. As soon as the home learning community and online community and my circle of close friends found out, I was completely, joyfully overwhelmed with support of all kinds; from money, to rides, to free car seats, to shopping, cake baking (it was Sam's birthday AND Thanksgiving), and a lot of empathy. Through these offerings, my need for security, community, safety, hope for humanity, care and love were so deeply met.
We are also finally upgrading to a more user friendly, safer vehicle at last which we have been putting off for more than a year. Today is my birthday and also the day that I finally found a van that I really love, at a price we are willing to pay. We'll be test-driving tomorrow and I'm quite excited about it.
With this theft, I am reminded of the Story of the Taoist Farmer once again.
We are currently enjoying a very nice, new minivan rental. It took the theft of our vehicle and this opportunity to try something different to make me realize how much I put up with with our old van. The door handles frequently broke off. The sliding door didn't slide so well. The bench seat in the middle made it really difficult for the kids to pile in. The wipers worked only occasionally. It rattled, jostled and squeaked like crazy. Plus all the regular things that come with older vehicles, manual windows, door locks, seat adjusting, and cup holders that are designed not to hold anything well except pocket change.
The theft has been full of blessings it seems. As soon as the home learning community and online community and my circle of close friends found out, I was completely, joyfully overwhelmed with support of all kinds; from money, to rides, to free car seats, to shopping, cake baking (it was Sam's birthday AND Thanksgiving), and a lot of empathy. Through these offerings, my need for security, community, safety, hope for humanity, care and love were so deeply met.
We are also finally upgrading to a more user friendly, safer vehicle at last which we have been putting off for more than a year. Today is my birthday and also the day that I finally found a van that I really love, at a price we are willing to pay. We'll be test-driving tomorrow and I'm quite excited about it.
With this theft, I am reminded of the Story of the Taoist Farmer once again.
October 11, 2009
thankful for (f)all
:: beautiful brightly dyed wool goods ::
:: roving I brought home for felting projects this winter ::
:: happy (dirty) boys who found a dust pit at the market and rolled in it for an hour ::
:: the winning pumpkin, 105 lbs. ::
:: fabulous farm market cookies - the boys love anything ghoulish ::
:: the very last bowl of our own tomatoes for the year ::
:: sweet fall salad greens, still going strong ::
Hope your fall is shaping up beautifully as well. Happy Thanksgiving, Canadian friends!
October 2, 2009
trusting a child's natural ability to make healthful decisions
When they sense that *I* want them to brush their teeth, they run screaming. When I remind them that they are free to choose whether or not to brush their teeth (they are well informed on what happens to teeth when they aren't taken care of), it almost never fails; they jump up and say HEY! I need to brush my teeth!. Then they do it happily and willingly.
I then get to sit back and revel in the experience of 1. freedom from nagging, and 2. seeing my children make the intrinsically motivated choice to take care of their health; which helps me to feel reassured that these healthful choices they are making will more likely be sustained into adulthood instead of ceasing when they are old enough to "make their own decisions" and don't have to listen to me.
I used to think it was a parent's job to tell kids what to do. It took me years to realize how much I resented 1. being told what to do myself and 2. "having" to tell someone else what to do. It took several more years to get to the place I am now of 1. trust and 2. respect. I still have a long way to go, but am proud and at peace with how far I've come. I trust kids. They are not dumb just because they're inexperienced. They have a natural desire to be healthy, to behave in ways that sustain life (contrary to popular belief) and also to contribute to others' lives (once they grow out of the very important, completely self-centered first five years or so!). These desires get squashed out of most of us when we start life being bossed around and don't know any other way of being treated (or in turn, treating others). Truly trusting my kids has been one of the most liberating actions I've ever taken. Just don't mistake this for me saying I'd let them play in traffic, etc.
"Protective use of force" is one of the reasons kids have parents, to keep them safe from immediate harm. Where there is obvious life-threatening danger, there is no choice; I am very comfortable and do not not hesitate to act when I see a need to protect my young kids from (knowingly or unknowingly) making harmful decisions. Obviously. However, "forcing" a child to brush their teeth every night, while it may prevent dental cavities; will in the long run, only end up leaving their self-esteem riddled with them. I place deep faith in this belief and look forward to seeing it carry myself and my kids through many beautiful trust-filled years together.
I then get to sit back and revel in the experience of 1. freedom from nagging, and 2. seeing my children make the intrinsically motivated choice to take care of their health; which helps me to feel reassured that these healthful choices they are making will more likely be sustained into adulthood instead of ceasing when they are old enough to "make their own decisions" and don't have to listen to me.
I used to think it was a parent's job to tell kids what to do. It took me years to realize how much I resented 1. being told what to do myself and 2. "having" to tell someone else what to do. It took several more years to get to the place I am now of 1. trust and 2. respect. I still have a long way to go, but am proud and at peace with how far I've come. I trust kids. They are not dumb just because they're inexperienced. They have a natural desire to be healthy, to behave in ways that sustain life (contrary to popular belief) and also to contribute to others' lives (once they grow out of the very important, completely self-centered first five years or so!). These desires get squashed out of most of us when we start life being bossed around and don't know any other way of being treated (or in turn, treating others). Truly trusting my kids has been one of the most liberating actions I've ever taken. Just don't mistake this for me saying I'd let them play in traffic, etc.
"Protective use of force" is one of the reasons kids have parents, to keep them safe from immediate harm. Where there is obvious life-threatening danger, there is no choice; I am very comfortable and do not not hesitate to act when I see a need to protect my young kids from (knowingly or unknowingly) making harmful decisions. Obviously. However, "forcing" a child to brush their teeth every night, while it may prevent dental cavities; will in the long run, only end up leaving their self-esteem riddled with them. I place deep faith in this belief and look forward to seeing it carry myself and my kids through many beautiful trust-filled years together.
September 25, 2009
understanding empathy - the key to peace in the world
Empathy can be likened to standing in someone else’s shoes, understanding the feelings and values of another person’s perspective at any given moment. It begins with an internal choice to see from a different point of view, to understand another side of a story. Empathy is the state of being fully present to each other's feelings and needs. Empathy is not agreement, but rather a willingness to fully understand how things look from someone else's point of view. To create empathic connection, one need not have ever been in the same situation of the person you are listening to - in other words, even if one has never had a child does not mean that they would be unable to empathize with a parent, for example.
Empathy is being present to what the other person is experiencing, not being triggered by it or even trying to fix it. When we allow the person who is before us to simply be - without our values, judgments or decisions to be placed upon them, we are offering ourselves in what some have called unconditional love. Connecting with open-hearted curiosity accesses our natural ability to respond with compassion and clarity. It's an experience of mutual giving and receiving.
Empathy is the meeting ground where the needs of all are acknowledged and understood. Though empathy may seem like a selfless act, it is not. When we deeply understand another, the other person is now far more open to hearing and understanding us. Empathy gives us a much greater chance of bringing our own needs and values to actuality.
Empathy is being present to what the other person is experiencing, not being triggered by it or even trying to fix it. When we allow the person who is before us to simply be - without our values, judgments or decisions to be placed upon them, we are offering ourselves in what some have called unconditional love. Connecting with open-hearted curiosity accesses our natural ability to respond with compassion and clarity. It's an experience of mutual giving and receiving.
Empathy is the meeting ground where the needs of all are acknowledged and understood. Though empathy may seem like a selfless act, it is not. When we deeply understand another, the other person is now far more open to hearing and understanding us. Empathy gives us a much greater chance of bringing our own needs and values to actuality.
Empathy is not Sympathy
Please visit to learn more about empathy and nonviolent communication.Sympathy entails a quality of support that requires a degree of agreement with the other person's views. Empathy means we fully let in what the other expresses, without agreeing or disagreeing with the content of the expression. Empathy implies seeking to understand, not seeking agreement or disagreement.
Empathy is not “Niceness”
If by being nice, we mean polite "proper" behavior, empathy can often be the antithesis of "niceness". Empathy calls for our authenticity, that we acknowledge what is often kept hidden by the polite, nice world, bringing those uncomfortable issues to the forefront.
Empathy is not Passivity
Being empathetic does not mean I become a limp noodle without my own needs and expression, or indifferent to conflict. Empathy is an active process of presence, listening, observing and internally opening to someone other than our selves.
Empathy is not the same as Love
If love is the giving from our hearts without expectation, empathy is a quality of being fully present to another person, focusing on the other, which often opens our hearts to such giving.
In fact, empathy moves us to the center of conflict. Human beings disagree, misunderstand, react and so forth. Our world is full of examples of this. Empathy works directly with this noble truth. By deeply understanding another, we can reduce misunderstanding, see clearly how our views differ, and build trust through the truly courageous act of letting another human being fully into our awareness and maybe even our hearts. It doesn't mean we agree or disagree, sympathize, lie down, or be polite; we simply give another the gift of our presence and understanding.
Empathy is not Naive
Empathy is exactly the opposite of naiveté, empathy ends naiveté. How? Because when we fully receive another person, seek to understand, the maximum amount of information is brought into the open. It means we are now aware of another's needs giving us the maximum opportunity to act on accurate information at the deepest level of trust, opening to the greatest possibility of resolution. What we have done is relieve ourselves of the naive idea that some problems are unsolvable, that violent disagreement is absolutely inevitable.
World Empathy Day is coming up on October 2nd.
This excerpt is taken from the World Empathy Day site.
September 22, 2009
Dayna Martin describes unschooling
No matter what parenting/schooling path you're on right in this moment, this is worth a listen.
September 14, 2009
holding on to summer
I've been enjoying going blog-less. It really has made life feel different especially after 3+ solid years of writing and sharing, often daily. I am loving the change; but I thought it would be great to share a post to mark the end of summer.
I'm not quite ready to call this a "fall" garden update because frankly, we just a had those few days of heavy rain and now it's back to mild temps and gorgeous sun, so it still feels like summer; though signs of fall are becoming detectable in the air and on the trees.
The last of the toms, which are still abundant, are trying to ripen, but the cooler nights are slowing them down. They taste like pure sugar now. The nasturtiums and squash are blossoming and adding vibrant color to the gardens. My second planting of fall greens is thriving and looking so pretty. This time I planted an heirloom Italian leaf mix. One more planting and that will be it for the year I think.
Since I'll probably be "un-blogging" for a good deal longer, I'll leave you with a little list of some my most favorite sites that I love to frequent a lot now that I have more time to read!
The last of the toms, which are still abundant, are trying to ripen, but the cooler nights are slowing them down. They taste like pure sugar now. The nasturtiums and squash are blossoming and adding vibrant color to the gardens. My second planting of fall greens is thriving and looking so pretty. This time I planted an heirloom Italian leaf mix. One more planting and that will be it for the year I think.
Since I'll probably be "un-blogging" for a good deal longer, I'll leave you with a little list of some my most favorite sites that I love to frequent a lot now that I have more time to read!
And I'll share a clip that Todd and I both really loved, which spurred on one of those on-the-same-page, mutual understanding, and supportive conversations together afterward.
I am so confident in and completely trust the process of of unschooling and life-immersion learning, to me, no other way of living or learning can compare or even makes sense.
However, Todd doesn't get to spend nearly as much time connecting with the kids, or seeking out support and gaining knowledge about it that I do, due to long hours at work each week. So he really enjoyed the affirmation that he received from watching this. It was very confidence boosting for him, especially when he frequently faces judgment from people at his work who don't understand and approach what we do with a closed-minded, ignorant type of scrutiny.
We talked about how it doesn't matter what anybody else misconceives about home/unschoolers, that all you need to do is believe in yourself and exude the confidence you feel about it. After a while they are bound to wonder if there is something more to it than they thought, or at least leave you alone to go about it :)
The kids have all, but especially Kale, been learning so much over the summer it's enough to make our heads spin. I am loving soaking up and absolutely indulging in watching the process these little ones are going through, growing up and learning all the time. I do believe I'm learning just as much right along with them.
That's all for now, and have a very rich and happy fall, all!
However, Todd doesn't get to spend nearly as much time connecting with the kids, or seeking out support and gaining knowledge about it that I do, due to long hours at work each week. So he really enjoyed the affirmation that he received from watching this. It was very confidence boosting for him, especially when he frequently faces judgment from people at his work who don't understand and approach what we do with a closed-minded, ignorant type of scrutiny.
We talked about how it doesn't matter what anybody else misconceives about home/unschoolers, that all you need to do is believe in yourself and exude the confidence you feel about it. After a while they are bound to wonder if there is something more to it than they thought, or at least leave you alone to go about it :)
The kids have all, but especially Kale, been learning so much over the summer it's enough to make our heads spin. I am loving soaking up and absolutely indulging in watching the process these little ones are going through, growing up and learning all the time. I do believe I'm learning just as much right along with them.
That's all for now, and have a very rich and happy fall, all!
August 18, 2009
hello there....
I am taking an extended break from here for a gazillion reasons. Some that I'll quickly mention here......needing to really define my desires/needs/intentions in keeping a blog and sharing my "voice" online... wanting to continue to nurture real life connections more deeply.... really needing to spend undistracted time and energy on the big tasks at hand (house, garden and hoping to get away for some fun amidst it all!)... but mostly, a simple desire to be more present with myself and my family. I can't begin to describe what an amazing process it has been sharing here, how much I've learned and grown just from keeping this blog online. Thank you so much to those who have taken the time to connect with me and offer your friendship and words over the years. I look forward to popping in to see what you're all up to from time to time. Until then, enjoy the rest of this beautiful season and we'll see you later alligator.
August 14, 2009
preserving: a way of life
Every time I turn around right now there are more piles of food to preserve, more stone fruits, more tomatoes, more zucchini, more apples, more peppers -- don't get me wrong, I love it. This is such meaningful work - it feeds my family, feeds my ethical beliefs.... and feeds my soul. There is nothing more important I can imagine doing than this right now. It feels good and it feels so natural.
We have enough of several delicious varieties of jam, applesauce, pasta sauce, pizza sauce, salsa, relish and canned peaches to last until next year. Soon we will do pickles and corn and I can't imagine what else. No, we can't live on these things alone. Canning these foods, alone, isn't going to stop global warming, it isn't everything that needs to change, but it's something.
I had mentioned in an earlier post that I didn't think I could do it this year, with my tiny dark kitchen and Todd working more than ever before. But it has been working out fine! Actually, much more than fine. I'm finding the kids seem to naturally align with the course of activities at this time of year - food harvesting, garden work, food preserving. It doesn't matter when I'm on the phone, or writing an email, or some other work on the computer, the kids will pull on me and make as much noise as possible, get into conflicts, and need, need, need me for so many things. And then I can spend days not on the computer, not on the phone, but totally immersed in washing, peeling, chopping, skinning, pitting, stirring, boiling..... and they seem to often find ways of getting their needs met themselves quite easily. They come in and out of the house, nibble on some food, help me stir or work the apple peeler, play a game next to me (Sam has on two occasions now simply sat beside me on a chair and fallen asleep while watching me work....). Once or twice a day, they watch a stream of downloaded Backyardigans or listen to a few Magic Tree House stories... or I stop for a game of checkers while a batch of sauce processes... we do a little bit of everything in a day and feel a nice balance happening. Not to mention the feeling of glee and satisfaction at the sight of a counter completely covered in bright and juicy looking jars full of good food at the end of each day.
I really want to take this opportunity to point to an article written by my deeply appreciated friend and tea-companion :), Tabitha. She is one amazing mama who does everything she can to be the change she wants to see in the world. It is so wonderful to have someone close to me who shares the same type of visions and desires for the world. So great to have someone to laugh with about the humor and irony, and cry with when thoughts about the world get a little too scary to handle alone.
Please take a moment to read Tabitha's passionate and eye-opening article, which I think really speaks to this whole process of preserving food, and providing for family:
Parenting... a Radical, Political Act
Parenting... a Radical, Political Act
August 11, 2009
food plants of Interior First Peoples, and the lost art of survival
I had almost given up identifying a large berry-laden shrub at the side of my house. It's one I've never seen before and anyone I've asked has been as clueless as I about it. So it was a lucky day when I just happened to pick up this book, Food Plants of Interior First Peoples, up off the shelf the library, and by total chance, flip it open right to the page with a photo and description of this precise berry shrub. As soon as I saw the little thumbnail photo on the page, I knew this was it!
Although I don't think I'll be brave enough to try it, it was one of the hundreds of sources of edible plants that the First Peoples utilized. The soapberry wasn't used so much for survival as it was a novel treat. Despite its bitter flavor, it appealed to the First Peoples, who used to mash the berries with a small amount of water, then paddle and stir with a piece of Cedar bark until frothy. This resulted in a "pink ice cream" type treat.
The book is loaded with information about edible plants I never would have suspected being useful, and some I had heard of but haven't tried. For instance, I never knew what a Saskatoon berry was, but on our first walk though this our new neighborhood a couple of months ago, I noticed a long strip of tall shrubs, completely loaded with purple berries right around the corner from us.
I've learned from this book that they were indeed Saskatoon berries and are ideal for canning, jam making and drying. I could have harvested buckets! I can not get over how many edible foods are around us that we could easily utilize if we had the knowledge. And yet, we are entrenched in a lifestyle and culture where food is kept under lock and key, and we depends so heavily on food grown in countries thousands of miles away.
This is a book for anyone who wants to know more about sustainable, local survival. Who knows, one day we really may need to know these things.
It's funny, just a few weeks ago, I read an excerpt by Daniel Quinn in the Unschooling Unmanual, describing what a "real" education might look like:
"..... the ability to differentiate between edible and inedible foods growing in their own environment, the ability to stalk, kill, dress, and preserve game animals, and most important the ability to make tools from available materials. How many of you know how to cure a hide? How to make a rope from scratch? How to flake a stone tool? Much less how to smelt metal from raw ore.....".
This excerpt drove itself, like a stake, deep into my psyche.
It really bothers me that with all our greatness and with all our sophisticated societal rules and structures, educational and social systems, that in a great catastrophe, most of us would not survive, because no one is versed in these basic skills. In the last hundred years, we have literally rendered our species completely dependent on an unsustainable system that we all know isn't going to be around forever. As Quinn says, 'the commonplace skills of the Paleolithic, developed over thousands of years, will be lost arts....' while technology and indulgent, artificial living takes their place.
So I was thinking wouldn't it be great to incorporate some learning of these basic skills into our family life? Then my next thought was 'how on earth am I going to get my hands on a hide... much less observe the stalking and killing of a game animal!?'. Then this book about edible plants fell into my lap, and I thought, well, look at that. Baby steps. Perfect.
The book is loaded with information about edible plants I never would have suspected being useful, and some I had heard of but haven't tried. For instance, I never knew what a Saskatoon berry was, but on our first walk though this our new neighborhood a couple of months ago, I noticed a long strip of tall shrubs, completely loaded with purple berries right around the corner from us.
I've learned from this book that they were indeed Saskatoon berries and are ideal for canning, jam making and drying. I could have harvested buckets! I can not get over how many edible foods are around us that we could easily utilize if we had the knowledge. And yet, we are entrenched in a lifestyle and culture where food is kept under lock and key, and we depends so heavily on food grown in countries thousands of miles away.
This is a book for anyone who wants to know more about sustainable, local survival. Who knows, one day we really may need to know these things.
It's funny, just a few weeks ago, I read an excerpt by Daniel Quinn in the Unschooling Unmanual, describing what a "real" education might look like:
"..... the ability to differentiate between edible and inedible foods growing in their own environment, the ability to stalk, kill, dress, and preserve game animals, and most important the ability to make tools from available materials. How many of you know how to cure a hide? How to make a rope from scratch? How to flake a stone tool? Much less how to smelt metal from raw ore.....".
This excerpt drove itself, like a stake, deep into my psyche.
It really bothers me that with all our greatness and with all our sophisticated societal rules and structures, educational and social systems, that in a great catastrophe, most of us would not survive, because no one is versed in these basic skills. In the last hundred years, we have literally rendered our species completely dependent on an unsustainable system that we all know isn't going to be around forever. As Quinn says, 'the commonplace skills of the Paleolithic, developed over thousands of years, will be lost arts....' while technology and indulgent, artificial living takes their place.
So I was thinking wouldn't it be great to incorporate some learning of these basic skills into our family life? Then my next thought was 'how on earth am I going to get my hands on a hide... much less observe the stalking and killing of a game animal!?'. Then this book about edible plants fell into my lap, and I thought, well, look at that. Baby steps. Perfect.
August 6, 2009
doing real things all day long
There is so much freedom in our life, and I love that.
That satisfying feeling I have while watching my children learn by authentic living and playing all day long, every day, with nothing coerced or forced, nothing judged, graded or tested, nothing rewarded to them or held back from them depending on their behavior...... Doing real things, not contrived, just for the sake of doing them, not for rewards or any other extrinsic reason .... it is priceless.
They are free to live and love and learn without obstacles such as fear, anxiety, conditions... They know that it's their "job" to get messy, to puzzle over things, to make mistakes, to see how things work. They have time to be kids, time to follow their curiosities and passions, unlimited time to just play, to get lost in their own world, to be bored, to be busy, to see friends, and also to just quietly process all that they have seen and done.
Lately all three of my littlest kids have been daily delighting in the simple act of playing in the mud. We may have moved onto a piece of earth that is very difficult to grow vegetables in (which is why we'll build raised beds next spring....), but it is an amazing plot of clay, which is useful for many other things. First of all, it's incredible play material.
Adding varying amounts of water gets really different results. Because it's clay, it doesn't drain and makes great big pools of soft slippery sediment. Adding just a touch of water, and some snipped up straw or newspaper makes a lovely cob mixture. We will be experimenting with this a great deal more. I'd love to build with the cob (click link to take to some amazing local cob building, including an incredible cord wood and cob cabin) we make when we get the proportions right, possibly a bench or a small outdoor oven.
Watching our kids self-teach through play has been a gift to both my husband and I, as we struggle with unlearning the often harsh, constricting and oppressive concepts we grew up with in school, family and society.
We are finally learning how to think out of the box, let go of limitations and think for ourselves instead of confining our thinking to what we think we "should" be doing. Instead of looking outside of me to determine what is right I am learning to begin within.
Back to the clay... I love that I'm learning in freedom now, right along side my kids. This learning is fun and interesting for each of us, as it is done purely out of choice and passion. There is something that appeals to each of us about playing with dirt. Below, we did an experiment by taking a scoop of our soil and shaking it in a jar to separate the particles. After five minutes we could see the different substances settle, and after an hour there were notable layers of water, silt, clay and sand. A great visual experiment.
Here is a first "pot" built from our first experimental cob mixture...
It reminded Kale of a bird's nest, which got him thinking of making cob birdhouses.... a lofty goal presently, but definitely a possibility, eh? That's all for now, happy learning and living, friends!
That satisfying feeling I have while watching my children learn by authentic living and playing all day long, every day, with nothing coerced or forced, nothing judged, graded or tested, nothing rewarded to them or held back from them depending on their behavior...... Doing real things, not contrived, just for the sake of doing them, not for rewards or any other extrinsic reason .... it is priceless.
They are free to live and love and learn without obstacles such as fear, anxiety, conditions... They know that it's their "job" to get messy, to puzzle over things, to make mistakes, to see how things work. They have time to be kids, time to follow their curiosities and passions, unlimited time to just play, to get lost in their own world, to be bored, to be busy, to see friends, and also to just quietly process all that they have seen and done.
Lately all three of my littlest kids have been daily delighting in the simple act of playing in the mud. We may have moved onto a piece of earth that is very difficult to grow vegetables in (which is why we'll build raised beds next spring....), but it is an amazing plot of clay, which is useful for many other things. First of all, it's incredible play material.
Adding varying amounts of water gets really different results. Because it's clay, it doesn't drain and makes great big pools of soft slippery sediment. Adding just a touch of water, and some snipped up straw or newspaper makes a lovely cob mixture. We will be experimenting with this a great deal more. I'd love to build with the cob (click link to take to some amazing local cob building, including an incredible cord wood and cob cabin) we make when we get the proportions right, possibly a bench or a small outdoor oven.
Watching our kids self-teach through play has been a gift to both my husband and I, as we struggle with unlearning the often harsh, constricting and oppressive concepts we grew up with in school, family and society.
We are finally learning how to think out of the box, let go of limitations and think for ourselves instead of confining our thinking to what we think we "should" be doing. Instead of looking outside of me to determine what is right I am learning to begin within.
Back to the clay... I love that I'm learning in freedom now, right along side my kids. This learning is fun and interesting for each of us, as it is done purely out of choice and passion. There is something that appeals to each of us about playing with dirt. Below, we did an experiment by taking a scoop of our soil and shaking it in a jar to separate the particles. After five minutes we could see the different substances settle, and after an hour there were notable layers of water, silt, clay and sand. A great visual experiment.
Here is a first "pot" built from our first experimental cob mixture...
It reminded Kale of a bird's nest, which got him thinking of making cob birdhouses.... a lofty goal presently, but definitely a possibility, eh? That's all for now, happy learning and living, friends!
August 3, 2009
it's a beautiful thing
The eggplants are all getting nice and plump and ready to pick. And I know just what I'm going to be doing with them, thanks to Annie for reminding me about this. I finally needed to move these and my peppers out of the greenhouse because it got to stinkin' hot in there even for them. Now they're doing much better.
Several varieties of cherries are also ripening at last, grape cherry toms, yellow pear and another variety which I can't recall the name of. The kids are raiding them as fast as they are ripening, which is great to see.
And we're also enjoying some of the edible weeds we're discovering in our new backyard. This is wild purslane. It's rich in omega-3 fatty acids and antioxidants and tastes really great all by itself. It can be tossed into salad or soup, or used as a garnish on omlettes.... I love that it's edible but also has the resilience of your typical weed so we can keep going back for more all summer!
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